The Art of Converting Stress into Strength with Dr. Cindy Tsai

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hi everyone. My name is Wendy Manganero and I am the host of the Wellness and Wealth podcast. I'm so happy to have you find us and if you could take a moment and hit that subscribe button, I'd really appreciate it. This is the podcast where we believe when you show up better for yourself as a woman business owner, you show up better for your business. So sit back, relax and learn from the practical to the woo-woo. How did best take care of you? Have a great day, stay blessed and leave a review when you're done listening to the show. Thanks so much. Hi everyone. Today our topic is embracing change and possibility to feel so much better, and we are with Dr Cindy Sy. I'm going to read her bio and then we'll get right into it. Dr Cindy Sy is an award-winning physician, best-selling author, tedx speaker, mindfulness teacher and wellness life coach who is on a mission to redefine self-care. She loves helping women, leaders and healers transform their stress into strength so they can feel so much better. Dr Sy earned her BA and MS degree from Johns Hopkins University and MD degree from Dartmouth. As a leader, physician and patient herself, dr Sy saw and experienced the impact of chronic stress on the body and was compelled to do more than prescribed medications as a bandaid. Through her own healing journey, she explored and trained in a wide range of solution-oriented therapeutic modalities and now emphasizes taking an integrative approach to wellness as author of the best self help book. So much better life-changing strategies to develop calm, confidence and curiosity to become an inspiring success story. She introduces a radical path to being Through creating the inspiring success story method trademarked. This method offers clients a diverse range of mind-body-spirit techniques to expand the possibilities of achieving their dreams. Dr Sy has been nationally recognized, featured and published in a range of media focused on wellness and healthy living. She's excited to share her expertise and passion to guide as many as possible in the journey of self-discovery, to recognize the importance of self-care as a wellness practice to lead and enjoy a life of ease. Welcome to the show, dr Sy. Thanks for being here today.

Speaker 2: 2:28

Thank you so much for having me, Wendy. I'm excited to be here.

Speaker 1: 2:32

This is great, and so I love the idea of embracing change, because I know for myself I'm much better as I've gotten older about it, but when I was young I never really did change. So I think this is a great topic, so I will get right into some of the questions. But what does embracing change and possibility mean to you? Sure?

Speaker 2: 2:53

So I think it's about giving yourself permission to do things differently, and I know that change can be scary, but it's also necessary. I like the phrase that says if you're not growing, you're dying, and so a lot of times we have to continually change and evolve to become that next, better version of ourselves, and so I do think it's really important to become comfortable and being open to change and to possibility, to seeing how things could be.

Speaker 1: 3:29

Yeah, and it's so funny because for me, what's that saying? The only thing that's consistent is change. I think there's something like that.

Speaker 2: 3:36

The only thing that's constant is change Exactly.

Speaker 1: 3:39

Exactly, and I think there's a lot of truth in that and I know even for myself. It feels like when you're resistant to change it really it stresses you out more. I think that's the whole thing of it is that there's so much more stress when you resist the idea of change.

Speaker 2: 3:55

Yeah, I would agree. I think a lot of times it's often our attachment to things and our expectations that can oftentimes be more limiting. When we're so set on things being a certain way and thinking that's the only way that things are supposed to be or can be, it can be really stressful because they're not usually always going to work out the way we want them to.

Speaker 1: 4:22

Exactly so for you. I'd love for you to talk more about your journey, because you mentioned it in your bio but your journey to embrace this idea of where you've come from and where you're at with it now, because I'm sure that has a lot to do with why you work, do the do today.

Speaker 2: 4:38

Yeah, definitely. So I would say that it started when I got sick, which I shared in my TEDx talk, where I talk about how the body has its own intelligence and that we have to pay attention to these messages. And I remember waking up one day this was towards the end of my medical training years ago and not being able to see, which was terrifying. I woke up, the whole room was dark and blurry and I went to different doctors who had no idea what was going on. The lab test was normal and they were just commenting how my case was interesting and you don't want to be interesting to a doctor.

Speaker 1: 5:20

You want to be straightforward and clear.

Speaker 2: 5:22

So I think it was definitely a very stressful time in my life and it really prompted me to slow down and to really reassess and reevaluate, to see what was going on in my life, and I gave myself permission to explore and to assemble my own team of practitioners who were focused on getting to the root cause, to really look at health and wellness, taking that very integrated, holistic approach, and it really helped me see how the quick fix is not a fix in terms of our health and wellness and also that there was, there are so many other options out there and that everyone is different, so the things you need are different, but part of it is being open to that right, being open to the possibility that healing looks different for different people. There's a different path and process, and so I think definitely my own experience as a patient was a big part of this and I'm grateful to have gone through the experience, to have healed, to have a wonderful team and also to have that background and training as a physician. Really being able to see both sides of the picture has really allowed me to come to this point in my career to help others especially I call them the super women of society to be open to possibility so that they can feel so much better.

Speaker 1: 6:55

So that's interesting to me because I've had experiences with that and I've talked about on the show before, especially actually with my son. They couldn't figure out what was wrong with him and he actually had RSV as a baby and they kept coming out negative. But I'm like the child is not breathing. They're like, no, just give him a breathing treatment, he'll be fine. And he actually needed oxygen. And I'm curious for those who go to doctors and there have been other women on the show who've spoken to this and said how important to you is it to be able to help make decisions in your own medical process, because I think, even because you're an MD, to hear that, because sometimes I think that people go, this is what my insurance accepts and they just accept it as is, as opposed to questioning if this is right or for them or not.

Speaker 2: 7:40

Yeah, I'm so glad you brought that up, and a big message I share in my TEDx talk is for people to see that there are options out there and to learn how to speak up and advocate for themselves. I think that there are so many things that do work and help, and absolutely there's the expertise that medical experts and all these people have. And it's not extreme when you just listen to one person and not the other, but I think if you keep getting that message, that intuitive sense that something is going on and something is missing, please speak up. That's really important and valuable information. That's why, when I talk to patients, I always say it's really ideal to think through what you want to bring up to your physician, your practitioner, your provider beforehand, so that when you're in the visit, you can bring all the concerns up and so you don't have to think about. It's not like after the visit, something else comes up and you're like, oh, I wish I could have said this or all these things. So I think definitely. I think it's ideal to have a partnership, to feel safe and comfortable, to share what's actually going on, and I also think that, in terms of healthcare, it's really important as practitioners, to listen and to also be able to hear what's not being said and to be able to support people through their journey.

Speaker 1: 9:18

Yeah, and that's important too. I think that's key of what's not being said, because sometimes we don't know, or I think that as women as I've talked about this before is this idea that, as female entrepreneurs or as women, is that we ignore stuff a little too long because we're so busy taking care of everybody else and we go. It's just this, or it's just that it's like we put ourselves on this back burner. So I'd love to hear about your experience with that too, is when should somebody start, and which is a little bit different than a question I'll ask you later but when should a woman go? Let me visit now, as opposed to waiting for something to happen. That's going to be a little worse.

Speaker 2: 9:59

I think it's ideal to have all of these preventative self-care practices routines in your regular schedule, because it's so much easier to stay healthy and well as opposed to dealing with some serious crisis or trauma after the fact. The truth is that most people because, as you mentioned, are so busy, we have so much going on definitely, as women, we wear so many hats, taking care of everything and everyone else, that we do put ourselves on the back burner, that we almost justify or have excuses as to why it's okay, and that we tell ourselves that it's not a big deal. And so I think, ideally, it's really about shifting this paradigm. I talk about redefining self-care. Self-care is not just about the pampering things going to the spa, getting a manicure. Self-care is everything. It's really looking at physical, mental, emotional well-being and integrating all parts of it into your daily life and practice, and also knowing that every little bit counts and questioning why do you feel like you have to wait until something's wrong quote wrong right before you do something about it? Why do we feel like we can't take care of ourselves? Why is it selfish to take a break, to unplug right and to have that quiet moment instead of just constantly being on the go, and so I think it really definitely requires intention and it's going to require change. You're going to have to be open to doing things differently normalizing that, so that you don't have to wait until the point where something really serious happens for you to actually take care of yourself.

Speaker 1: 12:05

And I'm curious at this go with this next question is because I think this is what tends to happen is, as we're talking about change and the idea of us not waiting, what are those physical warning signs of those who are resisting change? Because, as you said for you which is amazing, I had it where I've stressed myself out after working hours and hours in retail where I couldn't walk for two and a half weeks, like I was on a couch. I was done, and so I know that it manifests physically. But what are those warning signs where you're resisting change? Because this is just how things are and it just seems to get worse and worse.

Speaker 2: 12:44

So I would say that there's a spectrum, it's a continuum, and so part of it is paying attention to your own behaviors and where you're at and I think, of course, the whole range of red flags and you're really in crisis of all the really serious health ailments issues, whether it be like body pain, panic attacks, insomnia, inability to focus, just dependence on substance, food vice to cope, and then before that there's also maybe just concerns of exhaustion and fatigue and feeling nervous, anxious, just more easily overwhelmed, irritated, things like that. And I think it's also noticing, especially as entrepreneurs, when we have so much going on. It's paying attention to how you're showing up in your business. Are you procrastinating? Are you so excited about what you're doing? Are you constantly doing all these tasks that maybe make you feel like you're doing something but not actually equating to productivity or profit generating activities. And so it's really paying attention to what you're actually doing, your behaviors, and I think a lot of times we can normalize unhealthy behaviors as we're on this path towards burnout and exhaustion and just having wine every evening, one glass and two glasses and all these things, and so it's also every morning waking up, are you able to get up or do you need three cups of coffee to get you going and all of these things. And I think, when it feels like it's just too hard, when you're not wanting to do anything, when you're unhappy, and I think there are just these signs that it's really time to pay attention and to honor and take care of yourself first.

Speaker 1: 14:50

Yeah, absolutely, and we talked about a little bit, but all these like the first sign that you were mentioning exhaustion of the importance that sleep plays and resting plays in our are well-being, because I think that's where most women go we're a little tired and they think that's it, but they don't realize that it could be an underlying issue for a lot of things. But I think that's usually one of the first things that we notice.

Speaker 2: 15:17

Yeah, I think so. I think most people need seven to nine hours of sleep every night. That being said, there's also so much that goes into sleep in terms of sleep quality, and so I think definitely having good, healthy sleep hygiene practices can help get you in that more relaxed state so that you can get more deep, restful sleep and rest. I think the other thing to note is this idea of rest. I think when I work with a lot of very high achieving driven, accomplished women who have trouble resting right because we're so used to constantly being on the go and I share this from experience because, having been a perfectionist for most of my life, that's been my process as well and I think it's really recognizing what does rest mean to you and are you actually giving yourself permission to rest and knowing that it's not checking off a box? So, okay, I'm gonna lay in bed from 10 to 7 and I'm sleeping. It's actually really connecting to your body, to your soul. Are you really able to recharge and nourish yourself?

Speaker 1: 16:34

Otherwise, you're essentially still using up your battery and you're dreaming your energy and not actually replenishing what you need and part of that too, and I like that you said that, because I don't know about you, but the way that I fall asleep is the way that I wake up. If I am going to sleep thinking about an issue or something I have to resolve the next day, or it's like I do not sleep well because my brain will not shut off during the night, it will just not shut off, and so I've learned that, in order for me to calmly go to sleep, I have to do something like okay, gratitude, or think of something that's like really great, so that I sleep better at night, because otherwise I go to sleep with a problem and I wake up with the same problem because I haven't given myself the opportunity to shut down myself, and I wake up more negative. It's amazing how that is.

Speaker 2: 17:25

Yeah, I'm so glad you brought that up, because that's completely normal human behavior, because the brain is wired for survival and so when we're stressed out about something, in terms of our brain it feels like there's a potential threat, and so it's constantly running and on the go as a way to problem solve. But we know that it's not necessarily the most effective way. Rumination and worry and anxiety is not really going to change anything, but that's a lot of times our pattern and so it really weighs on us. It causes our brains to fully go to sleep and rest when it really needs to, and so the next day it's almost like this hangover that's still looming, this cloud that's over your head.

Speaker 1: 18:14

Yeah, and those nights I'm like did I sleep last night? Because you don't feel like you literally don't feel like you've slept early. Did I sleep? I know I was sleeping, but did I sleep? And you can feel it all day long? You can definitely feel it all day long. I'd love to know for those female entrepreneurs that we were talking about resisting change. Everybody has to have a starting point. So what's a good starting point? To start or to embrace and accept change?

Speaker 2: 18:37

So the first step is to pause, and there's the saying sometimes you have to slow down to speed up, and I think it is much easier said than done, especially if you haven't done it before. But I say that because it's temporary and it's for you to think about it as an opportunity to really reset and recalibrate. It's not a sign that something has gone terribly wrong or that you've failed or that it's never going to work. But I think a big part of it is just pausing and taking note of where you're at right now, because you can't change what you don't know. If you don't know something, how would you know? You need to change it? So I think really important thing is to take this moment to really reconnect to who you are from all aspects your body, your mind, your spirit so that you know what's important to you, what you need right now, what's going to nourish you, and then being clear and specific about what you're looking for so that as you take that next step towards change and possibility, it's not this haphazard walking blindfolded in a maze, but actually doing it with very clear intention so that it actually does manifest and becomes your reality. So I think a big part of it is really pausing, resetting, going inward, because there's so much noise in the world that it can be so distracting.

Speaker 1: 20:13

Yeah, I love that. I was just talking to my girlfriends about this weekend saying something. I said I don't answer emails right away. She said you don't. I said never. Especially if I'm upset about something, it is the best place to pause. I may take a day or two and then answer, because I'm like my initial reaction is sometimes wrong. Sometimes I read things wrong or it's where I am emotionally at the moment and so, when I can do that, a couple of things. It's so funny because that was what I was explaining is that I lack making excuses when I actually pause, so I just sit with it for a minute, as opposed to responding to what I originally perceived. I don't know if that's true for you, but that's really the best place that I've learned. I pause in other areas too, but answering emails or responding to things, that's the best way for me. That's where I've originally learned how to do that.

Speaker 2: 21:03

Yeah, I think that's a great example, and I think another place definitely is also in interactions, and especially in terms of relationships, personal relationships. I know that family or close ones can actually be, even though we love them, but it can also be tremendously triggering, and so being able to take a moment to pause and just giving yourself permission to take a breath and to clearly communicate and to set some healthy boundaries, I think is so important, because you don't want to say something or do something you regret, and it's not like it's going to take a long time when you have so many other things going on. We only have a certain amount of energy and capacity at any given time, and so it makes sense, when you're feeling overwhelmed, everything is going to be even more challenging, and so that's important to give yourself the time, the grace, to pause, to take a moment and just reset, and then, when you are in a good place, in a calm state, you're going to be able to respond in the way that makes the most sense.

Speaker 1: 22:17

Absolutely. I want to thank you so much for coming on the show today. This has been a great conversation. I'd love for you to let our audience know I know you have an offer for them. I will have the link in the show notes so you don't have to worry about that, but tell people what the offer is. And then also, if you want to just mention your Instagram or LinkedIn or how people can reach out to, you?

Speaker 2: 22:37

that'd be great, Absolutely so. I have a best-selling self-help book based on mindfulness it's called so Much Better with life-changing strategies to develop calm, confidence and curiosity to become your own inspiring success story. It's available on Amazon Barnes Noble, so feel free to check it out. And I also have a free five-day self-care 101 course that I'd love to offer your audience. They're welcome to grab it at my website, cindyscimdcom slash self-care. And yes, I'm available on all the social platforms with my handle at CindySciMD C-I-N-V-Y-T-S-A-I-M-D, primarily LinkedIn and Instagram, but it's been great it's. I love hearing from people to see how I can support you, and thank you so much for the opportunity to connect and chat.

Speaker 1: 23:29

Thank you so much again for being on the show today. So to our audience, if you love what you heard today, please subscribe so that you can get other self-care tips as our show goes along and, of course, leave a review. Thanks, and have a wonderful, blessed rest of your day.