Unmasking Mental Health Challenges for Female Entrepreneurs: A Conversation with Andrea Brognano

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hi everyone. My name is Wendy Manganero and I am the host of the Wellness and Wealth podcast. I'm so happy to have you find us And if you could take a moment and hit that subscribe button, i'd really appreciate it. This is the podcast where we believe when you show up better for yourself as a woman business owner, you show up better for your business. So sit back, relax and learn from the practical to the woo-woo How to best take care of you. Have a great day, stay blessed And leave a review when you're done listening to the show. Thanks so much, hi everyone. Today's topic is mental health. I'm joined by Andrea Rodnano. I'm going to read her bio and then we're going to get started. Andrea is a licensed mental health clinician and a group practice owner of therapy connection, an online mental health group practice that was established in late 2019. Therapy connection has expanded to several states and expanded services, including in-home services in New York, new Jersey, for children with disability. Andrea opened for a second company, achieved with Andrea, in the summer of 2021. Awa has several different programs, including a membership to help therapists with their social media posting, women's retreats and workshops, useful journals for purchase and, of course, for female entrepreneurs. Andrea is a passionate about mental health and how to help other entrepreneurs maintain mental wellness to be able to excel with holding a life work balance. Welcome, andrea. Thanks for joining me today.

Speaker 2: 1:43

Thank you so much for having me. I'm so happy to take a review today.

Speaker 1: 1:48

Yeah, i'm looking forward to this, because self-care and mental health go together well.

Speaker 2: 1:53

You must meet it right. We always talk about self-care, but we never really care for our fellow than us.

Speaker 1: 1:58

So I'd love to know in your experience, does mental health affect every area of your life?

Speaker 2: 2:04

Oh, every single area. I'll use my phone, for an example. When I'm not having a big day, I'll be stressed out about work and get overwhelmed there, and then I'll easily take it out on my loved ones, whether it be my fiance, my family. I get short, I get tense, I get frustrated. It depends upon if you're having a good day maybe all other areas of your life seem to be that they're thriving, when you're good, happy and you're not burnt out you're able to build a common-world relationship, you're able to maintain them a lot better. So it's really important and crucial We don't grow out the word self-care for no reason. The reason that we care for our health and be mindful of our trigger it doesn't show up poorly in all areas of our life.

Speaker 1: 2:49

Yeah, and it's so interesting as we're talking about this today. I have to say I don't know if you're on TikTok often and I'm not believing, or not even for as much social media as I do, but every once in a while I get a really good one. And there is a new one out there that this young lady it's a song thing and she's writing three ways that she loves herself, like she's supposed to be a self-care person, but she can't do it for herself. And that's what the song is about is I promote all this stuff and then I get to me and I have the hardest problem. And so, as we're talking about mental health, part of what I'm thinking about is grant social media, but I can't imagine as a therapist. And then you're talking about your own experience, but sometimes it's very important to trick in.

Speaker 2: 3:32

I read a temperature on myself and I'm very specific with the people that get the certain insight into my life when I'm stressed and knocked out and they know my trigger And I set it up in a way that if I don't know my trigger of myself or if I'm not aware that the trigger is happening, I have people in my life who call me out and I don't get in man at them or I need for it. I've almost made them like my accountability people, not that it's necessarily their job, but just a little. Hey, andrea, you know how you spend, so let you know if it's going to get a little bit at me. This is one of those times when I take a step back and I look and I'm like, Oh, what's going to put on my plate? that may look overflowing my plate a little bit. I'm not happening in a relationship in the way that I want to right. So it's really important for me because when I'm not caring for myself, I know that the work that I'm doing is not going to be good quality work. I'm not going to care for my clients in the way that I want to, I'm not going to care for my employees the way that I want to, And my creativity is kind of diminished. So that's where social media is. I'm not going to come out in the creative way that I want to put out the energy world that I want. It's really crucial that I follow those dips that I'm telling other people and not just bubble baths and face masks right All the time taking our deep unclog of my therapy face, social media world, tapping into my relationship.

Speaker 1: 4:52

Yeah, and I have to say, as somebody who did social media for years, i love that you're joining it for mental health professionals and helping them, because in my experience as somebody who used to do it for people, therapists really have a hard time because of that balance of what do you share, what don't you share. I'm supposed to be private, i'm supposed to keep my clients private, so I feel it's difficult for me to put myself out authentically. Okay, thank you online. So I really think that, as somebody who works in the field, you understand the ins and outs of that is really helpful for those struggling in that arena.

Speaker 2: 5:29

I see it all the time I see therapy, i don't have to show up on social media. I get enough from all the other referrals work, whether it be online referral work, whether it be network that they had. I always remind them that the work that we do is once a lot right, but you never know when you want to go. Stop right, you never know where you want your practice go. You never know where you want to go. It's really important to build authority because we know that one day down the line you're doing a TED talk or you want to get an answer, because ecology wants this or you want that, or you want to build that authority now And be able to speak online. I'm not saying that you have to pull back every look and cranny and courage of your life right, but it will help people to get into the authenticity of like, yeah, there are good, we do have tough to feel and that's okay. I also think in a world post pandemic, we have a lot more insight into life of what a therapist like is like and seeing even their home office, things like that. So I think with this world and where it's okay, then there are things too and our clients want that and maybe don't want that, both tied professional, that's sitting there and like that they want and I think we all want it and you know all the charts of clients that you want to work with in that way?

Speaker 1: 6:42

Yeah, Yeah, absolutely. I cannot agree more, and I like that you're talking about that, because it has been different since post pandemic, right? so more things have moved online. People are seeing into people's homes, and the other part that I like about that, too, is that you say, if you only put yourself in one little area, and this is for all businesses. This is all for anyone listening out there If you make or stick to that last. But even within an industry, that can be a really wide range of things, and whether you're coaching or therapy, you only have so much time in a day. It's great when you're booked, but then you lead to burnout if you don't have a diversity of what you're doing within that realm. And so I like that you're talking about those things. But we'll get back to mental health, because we could have a whole show on that. I don't know if you can understand this. Back to the digital questions. What was the catalyst for you wanting to be a mental health professional So originally?

Speaker 2: 7:38

I actually got into school for occupational therapy and a very transparent. When I did this, i failed one of my classes with occupational therapy and I couldn't get that program. Thank you like a two, eight and I have a two, seven, two or something like that. I wasn't allowed back yet. I always knew that I wanted to be in a health and profession and I was minoring in psychology anyway and I thought back to my time in high school and what had gotten me through my parents divorce and it was my guidance counselor at school and from New York And I was like you know what? I want to try more, i really want to help or I want to be a health and profession. And then I just go right into it with my master's and the house counseling and I've loved it ever since I was getting to know people. I love feeling that the onion a little bit and relating things for people and being able to kind of help them tie all the people together and like why are we? that's our way they are and how emotions show up in our body and why that's happening in other areas of our life. So it was really helpful to take a time and moment. The therapy is all about, like self reflection, when I reflected after I had failed black class and realized that was our person, that had a good impact on my life and I wanted to see it.

Speaker 1: 8:49

That's so interesting And sometimes when people think of their own failures, they go well, this will be the end. They can't see past. And sometimes there really are a complete blessing. There's a gratitude prayer I learned a long time ago. I can't remember who taught me it or what I was going through with the whisper Thank you for everything you've given me, taken away and I have left. And when I can really look at everything that's been taken away for whatever reason failure I'm like, yeah, thank you, but that's what meant for me in my life. Thank you for looking at my goals on a part. So I learned that a long time ago. And that's so funny because when I went to school, i went to school for English and criminal justice And although I use my English degree certainly my minor, but that was an I ended up in nonprofit for years because I was. I got to two weeks before graduation. I went. I don't want to be an officer. How can I help people on that side? I want to help them before they get to that side. So, all the way through the program to go. Oh, i'm on the wrong side.

Speaker 2: 9:57

But I thought, even when we like graduate, right like I was saying before, I wanted to work to find my income for even doing the most one I'm like what other week can I do? that's agreed out. How can I be able to do my whole journey and other capacities? And we're only defaulting at people. And if we've decided what, area of life is in life focus. We're always evolving. What about it?

Speaker 1: 10:19

Yeah, it's so true, because I was in excuse me nonprofit for years And then I went into marketing for years, opened up the nonprofit with my husband for eight years, and now I'm very grateful that I don't have to do either And I get to do a podcast. But it's just one of those things where you like, you just don't know And if you're open to the possibilities, things really work out. And I sometimes think that said, there is an older generation that still thinks like, oh, they get nervous. They're like you have to go to school for one thing and be one thing, And that's what you do.

Speaker 2: 10:52

They must have come for like 15 years and like I know, i know that's not a reality Like people work with companies for two degree years and then moving on. That's what the world is right now. It's no one thing. 20 years. Well, my parents did, But I don't think generation back there. I thought I was going to.

Speaker 1: 11:09

And I like the ability because we've also and I think the pandemic did it even more so is that it was this ability to be like I don't need to work for the company at all If I really don't want and some people do. My husband calls them, and for I guess this is. He was in recruiting for a while and they used to call him steady eddies. Those are the people who go to one job and they're comfortable with that. I have a friend, my best friend. We could not be more opposite. She literally went to school, high school, worked at the same place, through high school and college, got a job in one place and now she's director at that place. This is 30 years later, but that's who she is as a person. That's her constability level And that's it. That's great. But especially when you talked about women in entrepreneurship and being able to handle the stresses of that, it's usually because you want variety, you want to be able to do your own thing. You don't want to stay stuck in one place. Usually a lot of female entrepreneurs have that. I know too.

Speaker 2: 12:06

Yeah. I've been a nonprofit for about eight years And, like you said, you've been a nonprofit, so you grow and grow and grow until you grow into roles that aren't even necessarily where you one start it and where your heart was I love the company that. I work for, but. I realized that I wasn't always offering the work that I was doing. So I actually with working nonprofit. I was the division director at a nonprofit and I was working two part-time jobs to be able to do my private practice work because I wanted to client work so badly And I was like what the heck am I doing? I'm like I need to start my own company because I realized the work that I'm doing outside I could have my own company. I could be doing that And I just jumped and I went and I still went my wings all the way down, as many entrepreneurs do. You live and you learn And I built this company and when I was finally settled enough, i had a investment on my like I'm taking a step back. Now I have to resign and built such a good relationship with them That just left me. Actually, i did my first wellness workshop for them and I'm doing that monthly, so I still get to like work with them. So at Interthink, how our world like changes and evolve, as I just knew it. Where it's her perspective?

Speaker 1: 13:16

Yeah, it really is, and I always think like none of those times that you do those things are wasted, because you can always bring it into who and what you're doing now, because I've heard people like I was there for a year, but all of those skills or things that you learn that you can bring into whatever you're doing currently.

Speaker 2: 13:32

So much, oh yeah, so much I really feel like my knowledge and skills and just in for wellness in general and organizational skills. I owe a lot to that, because it forced me to have to learn It was one of our companies that like if you Google it, I'm like okay, well, my god, I'm fit.

Speaker 1: 13:48

So I just learned everything sitting that way.

Speaker 2: 13:50

I had an incredible like mentor as a manager there too, but at the beginning of my time I was like Google, it figure it out.

Speaker 1: 13:57

So I did it. That's always fun And that's good. I think open companies attract open people and it makes it for a really useful working relationship while you're there And then understanding on the other side when it's time to go. It's okay too. So for female entrepreneurs that are out there, if they're struggling with their mental health, what are some warning signs that they may be struggling with their mental health? Because I sometimes think that things sneak up on us. We're like, oh, it was just this moment. Or if you have a moment and you really think, you're like, oh no, i've been, might have been struggling with this longer than I thought So but what are those kind of warning signs?

Speaker 2: 14:32

I think they think people are going to laugh when I say this, but it's like looking at how tired you are at the end of the day And it's like tired or burnt out and looking at that, right, did you not be kind at all to enjoy anything that you were doing, even if it's worth saying you didn't take a lunch break, which I know a lot of my old friends told me that I would take one. But if you're not adding one hour into the day, or even a half hour for yourself, then you're living to work and not working to live. So if you can't reflect daily on something that you did have enjoying the career, so exactly what I've been? a warning sign that you're putting other things before your own life And that's the time to get help. I said people will laugh because I don't know one person right now that wanted to give me like yeah, i'm tired, check my friends. They're like I'm tired. I'm tired. Everyone's saying things because we live in this world. I think for people who are especially those people that were similar to me, where you're working so much while also building your business, it can be a lot, but making sure that you're putting in at least a half an hour a day of something is enjoying the career. So even if that's stepping outside and feeling the fresh air getting with that, if you are noted into that, you're testing your friends last you're checking in with them a little bit. Last your relationships. You're not hearing from people as often. You probably have pulled away yourself. You have to come watch on your plate, reach out to your friends and say I know how much I pulled away from you because I've had too much on my plate and I'm just checking in So that they realize how important my friendships are, especially in the process of building something on my own now more than ever. I want to make sure that I have a good support to them, and I'm supporting you too.

Speaker 1: 16:09

Yeah, and I am curious about this because this is the other thing that I find for myself if I'm not careful that I'm not even talking about social media so much. Really, and I'm into meditation and stuff, i notice that I'm off when I'm spending more time in general playing games on my phone, or it's too much work to go take the walk, or I'm like, oh, i don't feel like doing that. I'll have a little reason to be more related.

Speaker 2: 16:37

But I think that you're pointing out something really good is you noticed a change in your behavior too, and that's something that you notice, that change when I'm texting your friends as well as doing work or not putting enough time for yourself, checking in with your behavior. And then one way that I do tell everybody. I always say I'm not the therapist I'm going to tell you to write down like, yeah, diary Today, i did actually like I'm just not that type of clinician. Take a piece of paper and bring it down to your phone, even if your thoughts are. Andrea told me that I have to write things down. I don't know what's the right. Your thoughts are going to come to you and just throw them down on paper If you're noticing that some of the thoughts are more aggressive and assertive than you are as a person, and you're writing down that. didn't have time for that. didn't have time for that. your behavior is changing. that right, and you want to track and recognize those triggers of behavior, because I mean, the part of you is changing and you're probably getting caught.

Speaker 1: 17:31

That's a good one, and I love brain dumping. But it's usually because I have too many tasks in my head and I'm like but don't put them down on paper, they're going to sit there and I'm not going to get anything done. But I like this idea of brain dumping your thoughts, and not necessarily in a journalist format. What is going on? that's a little bit different, because I think that's what happens if we're left, sometimes alone to our own devices. Our thoughts can get really loud and we don't realize, and it's actually distracting you from trying to do anything because you're in a thought pattern than trying to work on something. So I really like this idea because if they're not in your head which is why I brain dump for tasks then I can go oh, at least I know when I've got to get these things done, i'm not swirling about it. So I think that's really good too to the idea to do that. So I'm going to give you a little scenario. My son has a friend. I've known this little boy since he's probably six or seven years old, my son 17. And he was struggling and he reached out to my son, which I thought was a healthy thing to do. I'm always impressed with my kids when they do stuff like this And my son came to me and said it's a parent problem and I don't want to give advice and lose this friendship which I thought on both sides. This is incredible. I'm so grateful that I'd be having this conversation, But I said to them I said well, I always ask if somebody wants this. Suggestions. This usually puts a place that has people want somebody to listen to. You know, you might want to start there, And I was like has he ever considered going with therapy, though? And there is still this stigma about it. That really is some, and it doesn't matter what generation it could be generations browsing it down to younger people or whatever. There is this stigma if I go ask for that help, There's mean something about me. Sometimes they could mean something about my family. There's all of that kind of goes through that. So what would be the first step, especially an entrepreneur who is like no, I'm supposed to have it together, It's supposed to be like the matriarch of my family and from the business. What would be that first step? to be A, that it's okay, and then B, to actually hopefully pick up a phone call and call everybody.

Speaker 2: 19:37

Yeah, i always think about our heads and about therapy and I'm sure a bunch of people have heard it before. But you don't go to the dentist only when you have a catheter. You go yearly for a checkup and for making sure that everything's okay. The same thing with the doctor. You don't only go when you're sick. You go yearly for a checkup. If a person is nervous about therapy, something to be mindful of is therapists that you go to doesn't have to be the one that you see forever And that can be so hard to if you can get exhausted. Finding the right therapist but at the same time, making sure that you found the right one is to be the one that helps you in the long run, staying with what you need. So, starting out with brain pumping all of the thoughts that you have of what you want to get out of therapy and then going backwards from there. We're searching for a therapist that would have that. So let's say it's overwhelm anxiety, female entrepreneurship typing that into a local search and therapy is in my area for overwhelm anxiety and female entrepreneurship. Right, because you want someone to be focused on the thing that you're focused on, that you have. If you're scared that you're going to be judged about it, you're holding yourself back from being able to get the help, leaving your business a little bit more. I always tell, because I work directly with female entrepreneurs those are my people, especially the nervous, anxious, overwhelmed ones usually that they just put something on their plates and I try to do some that at once. What I tell them to about the fear of being judged by other people is not when it's in being your shoes, and those people that are judging you are thinking about you for 10 seconds, maybe 30 seconds out of their day, and then they're moving on. You're not picking up as much mental space and they're mind that thinks that they are. You are right, so reminding them of that and reminding them, you live in your head 24 seven no one else does. And if your head is kind of affecting your body, it's affecting other areas of the body. That's when you know that it's time to get help And you're thinking yourself too. The relationships they have and the ones that are being impacted. They deserve the best version of being And they do so, making sure that you're getting a cord in that health to have the best version of yourself because you deserve that too.

Speaker 1: 21:49

I really like that. You said something in the beginning. I heard you're holding it. It's just why I did, but I wanted to keep back into this. So I have seen therapists over the years and I know for myself that I actually got to a point and not because I haven't had fabulous therapists over the years, but I actually saw therapists who were also the business owners, because they would have an understanding of my side. And I think that's important to say is like there are trauma informed therapists, there are ADHD informed therapists, there are you name it. But especially being a female entrepreneur and having another female entrepreneur who is successfully running a therapy office understand that it is really super helpful. But I think that there's something about having that understanding of trying, like you said, trying to do it all, because that's what we do as female entrepreneurs. We somehow do it and all of us go. I'm doing great and then I'm suddenly like you haven't talked to your kids for a week. You're like that has happened, that I'm back into this realm. But I think there's something important and I sometimes think that people forget that they are allowed, as you said, to choose who they go see. I'm so glad you said that because I have found twice now. I purposely looked out and sought out therapists who were entrepreneurs so that I didn't feel like I was going to go tell a therapist something who has no idea how to run a business, whatever that is. You know that. They understand that.

Speaker 2: 23:22

And it's important to know that, even if you're an Arabic, being a great Arabic for a long period of time, our life changes. So if that Arabic is good for you for that period of time and now maybe the doctor could do something different and you need a new therapist, that's okay. Your therapist's feelings are now going to be hurt over that. You and your needs, and you know what that is, And your therapist should be telling you the hard times that they meet with you too that, if this relationship is not what you expect or want or need. at any time you're able to end the therapeutic relationship and I can help you with getting support elsewhere and otherwise, like that should be a conversation too.

Speaker 1: 23:58

I think that's fabulous information because I really do, especially when it comes to therapists, and I realize that insurance is always difficult. But there has been times where I'm like, yeah, what insurance offers just does not cover my needs And, being honest with yourself, because any part of self-care I've learned that if we don't, things aren't going to work well, things don't really work well. So I like that you talk about that And for my experiences, sometimes it's like it's worth the cost. I know that you have an offer, so I want to give you the chance to talk about it And, of course, i'll have the link in the show notes, thank you, so my offer is I have a membership for therapists and coaches and also some female entrepreneurs can benefit from this as well.

Speaker 2: 24:41

I help with social media and what I do is provide weekly emails that give comfort for social media daily. What I find is a lot of people get social media, they get on their account and they're like I don't know what to post now. So I help with that, giving you suggestions of what to post each day. They're for real cross because you know reals are like the it thing and the in thing on social media. And then a hashtag calendar follow things like national pizza day, national Oreo day, national I think, a lot about national donut day, but you get the chance Being able to kind of rebate that and how that relates to business and you know with hashtag holiday and then weekly Zoom meetings with the group to be able to come up with different ideas, help with the same on your media and how you could be amplifying it a little bit. So we have weekly meetings with that Usually $37 and less, but I'm getting that college or listen to the account $20 off monthly that will only be $17 month for all of that And let me tell you, ladies, that's a steal of a deal.

Speaker 1: 25:42

I know I don't usually say that, but as somebody who used to be a social media manager, I was not charging anything near that. So if that is an amazing gift that you're doing for those who need it because I used to write all of the posts for clients I used to say I take a lot. Do you have clients a lot? It's not a work, and if you don't have to think about it, it's super, super healthy. So thank you so much for coming on the show today, thank you. This was a really enjoyable conversation I've been off and being with you. Thank you for the opportunity, thanks And for my listeners. If you love what you hear or heard today, please subscribe to our podcast for more self-care tips. And if you love what Andrea had to say, please leave a perfume In the meantime. Have a Boston Abundant Week.